A LETTER TO THAT ONE GUY WHO GOT AWAY

I READ ABOUT THIS ARTICLE TITLED: SIGNS IF A GUY HAS A CRUSH ON YOU. AND JUST OUT OF THE BLUE, YOUR IMAGE POPPED RIGHT INTO MY HEAD. WHICH IS FUNNY CAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT OF YOU ABOUT A YEAR NOW? HAHA ANYWAY AS I GET TO READ THE SIGNS AND ALL THE OTHER RELATED ARTICLES I REALIZED SOMETHING. GUESS WHAT? YOU ALSO HAVE A THING FOR ME.. NO? AND THAT’S THE DUMBEST REALIZATION I EVER HAD. ASSUMING MUCH HERE, SORRY. GIMME A CHANCE JUST THIS ONCE. THAT’S THE LEAST THING YOU CAN DO HERE. GAWD!

A YEAR AFTER, HELLO! A YEAR AFTER YOU BROKE MY HEART WITHOUT YOU EVEN KNOWING IT. CRUEL AND SAD, ALL MY FAULT REALLY NO NEED TO BE GUILTY. YES I WAS TOTALLY HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH YOU, TO THE MOON AND A LIL STROLL TO ALL THE OTHER PLANETS AND BACK TO EARTH. TO THE POINT OF STALKING YOU ON FACEBOOK BUT NEVER ADDED YOU AS A FRIEND COS I JUST CANT. ARE WE EVEN FRIENDS TO ITS TRUEST ESSENCE OF THE WORD FRIENDS? HA? LABO. NVM. GUILTY SAVING YOUR PICTURES ON MY PHONE, ALL OF YOUR SOLOS AND BADUY PHOTOS NOT A THING I LET PASSED FROM MY WICKED EYES. BTW, I LIKED YOUR TOPLESS PHOTO. I COULD JUST STARE AT THAT THE WHOLE DAY, SIGH, DOPE DAYS LOL. THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME AND OUR FUTURE TOGETHER, HOW WOULD OUR KIDS LOOK LIKE AND WHATNOT’S. YEAH I KNOW, YOUR THINKING NOW THAT IM CREEPY. I DON’T MIND. YEAH, I ALSO KEPT MY PAPERS AND DOODLES WITH YOUR SIGNS ON IT. GOOD THING, I NEVER GET TO THE EXTENT OF KEEPING YOUR SUPOT OF CANDY STUFFS LIKE THAT, THANK-GOD. IM NOT OBSESSED NMAN HA! AND ALSO CELEBRATING OUR SO CALLED MONTHSARY WITH MY FRIENDS, YOU CAN CALL ME OBSESSED NOW. KILL. ME. NOW. DID I REALLY DID THAT? LOL. THERE. I SAID IT. THAT ONE JUST FELT SO GOOD. YOU KNOW, I NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO TELL YOU THAT BECAUSE ONE, ITS STUPID. TWO: IM A GIRL. AND THAT WOULD MAKE ME A STUPID GIRL. THREE: I DON’T HAVE THE GUTS. BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW, IM OVER YOU NOW.

THREE MANS ILY OMGGEEEE. KIDDING! HAHA

ANYWAY TO MAKE SURE, I DECIDED TO READ MY DIARY..

HAHAHAHAHAHA YES I HAVE ONE. IT ALL STARTED ON YOU. YOU KNOW, I WAS IN LOVE! AND I LOVE THE IDEA OF BEING IN LOVE. PLUS, I DON’T HAVE A SHARP MEMORY SO I JOT IT ALL DOWN SO I COULD REMEMBER ALL THE STUFFS. SEE ITS EVEN USEFUL NOW, I REMEMBERED YOU AND ALL THOSE FEELINGS WHICH IS GONE BY NOW JUST SO WERE CLEAR. YAH?

OKAY.

YEAH SURE YOU WERE THERE OF COURSE. PSH. EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY THE WHOLE SEM. THAT’S HOW I HAVE GONE GAGA OVER YOU. GOSH! WHOLE FUCKING SEM AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT. SOB. SOB. BUT NOW YOU KNOW SO THIS IS WHEN I CUT THE CRAP NOW..

HERE ARE SOME ENTRIES THAT MAKE ME CONCLUDE YOU HAD A THING FOR ME, OR MAYBE NOT? HAHA

  1. YOU ALWAYS HAVE WAYS TO TALK WITH ME, OR NEVER RUN OUT OF IDEAS.. BUT THAT DOESN’T COUNT COS WERE SEATMATES AND ITS ALL NATURAL TO TALK WITH ME BUT HOW ABOUT THE GIRL ON YOUR LEFT? SO I GUESS I WAS JUST YOUR FAVORITE. URGH.
  2. YOU TOLD ME YOUR THAT TYPE OF GUY WHO ALWAYS WANTED TO TALK, AND IF NOT TALKING, YOU ARE SINGING.. THAT EXPLAINS THE FIRST DAY OF OUR CLASS. YOU GOT MY ATTENTION THERE, SINGING HUH. YOU TOLD ME SUCH PERSONAL TRAIT, WEIRD BY THAT TIME COS DIDN’T ASKED.
  3. YOU CALLED BE “MISS USA” OR “MISS JPIA”.. lalalalalalalalala NO COMMENT? 😀 IM NOT A BEAUTY, BUT BE CALLED MISS JPIA? HELL NOOOOOOO! THATS SO OUT OF MY COMPREHENSION I DONT WANNA THINK AT ALL, ILL JUST EMBRACE IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY. YOU JUST CALLED ME WHAT??? HAHAHA OK. DRAMA OFF NOW. *HYPERVENTILATING
  4. YOU ASKED ME TO TEACH YOU THE ACTIVITIES IN COMPUTER. WHICH IS DUMB COS YOUR SMART AND IM JUST AVERAGE YET YOU WANT ME TO TUTOR YOU????? AHA YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME OUT, I WOULDN’T MIND REALLY! LOL JK
  5. YOU ASKED ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR GUY IF I KNOW HIM.. AND I SAID YES, THEN ASKED YOU WHY. WHUT? MAYBE YOU SAW US AT THE LIBRARY. I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT TIME THAT HES JUST A FRIEND AND THAT HE WAS REVIEWING ME FOR AN UPCOMING EXAM. BUT YOU JUST TOLD ME, NOTHING. SO NEVERMIND. JERK.
  6. YOU ASKED PERSONAL THINGS.. LIKE WHERE MY NAME CAME FROM, OR WHERE I SPEND MY HIGH SCHOOL. I WAS OKAY WITH THAT, THE PROBLEM IS I COULDN’T ASKED YOU BACK SUCH THINGS. AWWS! I REALLY HAVE SOCIALIZING ISSUES OK. FUDGE.
  7. YOU NOTICE EVERY NEW LITTLE THINGS LIKE MY FOOT SOCK, MY BAGS, OR SHOES I WEAR, MY BRACLET THAT YOU BORROWED TO TAKE A LOOK AT THEN IM SO RIGHT ON THE EDGE OF SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. ALLELUJAH! LOL*ASSUMING AGAIN
  8. YOUR BROTHER CALLED ME OUT MISS JPIA! HOW DID HE KNOW? YOU TWO TALKED ABOUT ME? AND IF YES, WHY WOULD YOU TWO TALK ABOUT ME? ANSWEEEEEEEEEER ME YOUUUUUUU UM. THIS WAS THE TIME WHERE I STARTED FEELING WEIRD. I ALWAYS WANTED TO ASKED YOU THAT BY THE WAY. AND I ALREADY FORMULATED AN ANSWER FOR THAT LONG LONG TIME AGO. HAHA ANYWAY STILL CURIOUS HERE.
  9. YOU TOLD ME IM PLAYING LONER. FUCK YOU FOR THAT. IM NOT. WHY DID YOU EVEN SAY THAT? GRR. BAD DAY EVER.
  10. YOU EAT AT THE RESTAU MY LANDLADY OWNED JUST DOWN WHERE I LIVED.. TAKE NOTE, IF NOT WITH FRIENDS WITH A GIRL. YEAHRIGHT! YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? COS YOU’RE DOING IT PERFECTLY. BREAKING MY HEART INTO BITS AND TRILLION OF PIECES. U.U SO CRUEL.
  11. ASKED MY OPINION ABOUT YOUR HAIR CUT. NYEEEEEY! AND I WAS LIKE, SHIT WHAT WOULD I SAY? HAHA I BLURTED OUT SOMETHING, I FORGOT. LOL

AND MANY MORE..

DUH, I WOULDN’T DARE TYPE ALL THE SINGLE DETAILS IN MY DIARY. ITS EMBARRASSING AND LENGTHY AND ITS JUST ALL ABOUT CRAPPY NONSENSE. BUT IF YOU WANT A COPY, I WOULD GLADLY GIVE YOU ONE. COS I HAVE ALREADY MOVED ON. WHY KEEP IT A SECRET?

SO..

I CALLED YOU THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY COS I NEVER DID ANYTHING, I MEAN IM A GIRL WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO RIGHT? I CANT BELIEVE LOVE IS TAKING OVER ME. AND THE SAD PART IS YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT TIME I THINK. AND YOU’RE TOO GOOD LOOKING, TOO GOOD FOR ME. AND THERE’S NOFREAKIN WAY YOU’LL, I CANT EVEN SAY IT T.T AND LOTS OF LADIES IN SCHOOL HAS THE HOTS FOR YOU. AND YOU WERE JUST THE FRIENDLY KIND OF GUY NOTHING MORE. OR I JUST SEE MY IDEAL MAN IN YOU. YOU’RE SMART, THE PERSONALITY, HUMOROUS, TALKATIVE, FULL OF IDEAS. I GET EVEN INTIMIDATED BY THE WAY YOU TALK HAHA THE RIGHT ONE FOR ME, OR SO I THOUGHT. GIVEN I AM A BORING PERSON AND YOU ARE NOT, YOU BALANCE THE EQUATION. LUH? AND THAT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD. BEFORE. PAST. G? OK? GOOD.

THEN THERE CAME THE TIME WHERE IT WAS JUST ALL TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE. IM IN DEEP SHIT I THOUGHT. THE UNREQUITED LOVE EPISODE. I WANTED TO HATE YOU, BUT I CANT. SO I HATED MYSELF INSTEAD. I HATE MYSELF FOR MAKING A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS THINGS HAPPEN TO ME. WHATS WRONG WITH ME? IM NOT THIS TYPE OF PERSON. I HATE FEELING THAT WAY, THIS IS SO NOT ME. PITY. AND SO I HAVE DECIDED TO STOP COS ITS NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD. WHATS THE POINT? YOU DON’T EVEN GIVE A SHIT FOR ALL I KNOW. I CRIED A BUCKET AND I FELT LIKE SHIT COS WERE NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP OR ANYTHING. IT ALSO DID HELPED ME FORGET THAT WE NEVER TALKED.. COZ THERES NO WAY POSSIBLE WE COULD AND WEVE GOT NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT ANYWAY.THE LESS I SAW YOU THE FASTER I MOVE ON. BUT OF COURSE EVERYTIME I SEE YOU, THERES THIS UNEXPLAINED FEELING AND MY GOAL VANISH RIGHT INTO THE THIN AIR OUT OF MY NOT SO THINKING STRAIGHT HEAD OF MINE. I TRIED TO STOP WRITING ABOUT YOU. I DID STOPPED AND FORGOT ABOUT YOU. YAY! GOOD FOR ME. THEN A YEAR AFTER IM HERE WRITING ABOUT IT. WOW. IF ONLY I HAVE THE GUTS I HAVE NOW THAT TIME.. *INSERT SONG HERE (TOO YOUNG, TOO DUMB TO REALIZE. YAH!) OOOOOOH! I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU, AND GET REJECTED.. YEBEBE!

SRSLY.

I ALWAYS SAID TO MYSELF I WOULDN’T DO ANYTHING STUPID IN THE NAME OF LOVE LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS I KNOW DID. I WONT SHED A TEAR TO A GUY WHO DON’T DESERVE IT, BUT I DID. AND I REALIZED ONCE YOU FELL, YOU FELL. IM SO STUPID AND YOUNG. I MEAN ITS EASY TO DECIDE ON WHAT & HOW TO DEAL WITH IT BUT NO. CANT EXPLAIN IT, I JUST DID. WAG KANG MAGSASALITA NG PATAPOS IKA NGA.. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RATIONAL, “THINK BEFORE YOU ACT” ME?? NADA. SHE JUST VANISHED, AND AN ALIEN POSSESSED HER. CRAZY IN LOVE ALIEN. DID YOU EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA? MAYBE NOT. COZ I USED MY NINJA MOVES! BLEEH. HAHA THE IDONTFUCKINGCARE ATTITUDE I MASKED TO HIDE MY FEELINGS. DID IT DO THE TRICK? TELL ME HA? AND PLEASE DO EDIT THIS, COS I KNOW UR GOOD IN ENGLISH AND GRAMMAR STUFF I THINK YOURE EVEN GOOD AT.. WAIT, LEMME THINK. ANYTHING! A HUNCH? WELL, I JUST KNOW! 😛 NADAKU NAIT ATAY, CHE!

ANYWAY..
HOW ARE YOU NOW? GONE WITH THOSE DAYS TO SEE YOU EVERY TTH OF MY WEEK. LOL WELL OF COURSE I SEE YOU, AT THE LOBBY, HALLWAY, AT THE ROAD, BUT THAT’S JUST ALL THERE IS TO IT. I SEE YOU. PERIOD. NO CONNECTION. LOL
ALSO, I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU DD FLIRT WITH ME A LITTLE? OR I WAS JUST ASSUMING THAT TIME WHICH IS OF COURSE 99.5 %. PLEASE DO TELL. I JUST NEEDED TO KNOW FOR THE PEACE OF MY LONG GONE BROKEN HEART, REST IT SOUL. AND HURRAY FOR THE NEWBORN ONE.

WHAT ELSE?
UM
UM
UM
SHIT

LAST MINUTE..
I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO SEND YOU THIS, HAHAHA!
ITS ALL IN THE PAST NOW, WHY LINGER? LOL
THANK YOU ANYWAY FOR THE BROKEN HEART I STITCHED FOR MONTHS..
AND AGAIN, LET ME TELL YOU THIS.

I LOVED YOU THEN..
BUT NOW ITS OVER.
GOODBYE..

PS. I LIKE MY I LOVE YOU GOODBYE LINE. LOL

AWESOME. ASS. BTW.HAHA
JUST SAYING..

PSS. INFATUATION LANG PO ATA 😛 I OVER ANALYZED.
TY & GBY ♥

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